A continuation from last weeks’ article.

“I know what I came for!” I consoled myself as I saw that huge post.

(Dials phone)

Me:Halo,this is Vivian the lady you led to the redeemed section,is this…is this…

Lady Love:(Interrupts) Young lady can I help you?

Agitated,afraid and frustrated,I decide to pull myself together.

Me:Yes Lady Love,I need your help,where do I start?How could you bring me out here and leave me?…I need your help,your guidance and advice. I can’t do this!(At this point what comes to mind is how pointless this is,like looking for a needle in a haystack)

Lady Love:Listen to me Vivian. (Gently) Do not be rush with your decision to quit.Was quitting your agenda?(Silence follows)

I look around as I listen intently to Lady Love. Still on the same spot. My eyes land on a certain subsection I cannot ignore.

Lady Love: I won’t help you but will redirect you to God who is there with you.He will help you through the Holy Spirit.You have to trust him and remember to share your findings with the world my dear(disconnects phone)

Me:(Distraught)Ha..halooo?… (whispers) How rude..(throws phone in frustration on the nearby table)

At this moment I was utterly convinced that giving up was not an option.If push comes to shove, I had to do it or do it.Slumping on a run down seat I put my head between my hands and whispered a prayer to God.”I am not alone,”I muttered to myself.

I walked towards the subsection that caught my eyes.It had three names boldly written:

  • C.S Lewis under whose name was written, “the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England”
  • Ravi Zacharias under whose name was written, “I promise to leave no stone unturned in pursuit of truth”
  • John Wright under whose name was written, “Reveal yourself to me in some fashion that will prove your case”

What stood out for me as I read through these names is the fact that at the end of the day desperation for God was evident from these three individuals…a desperation for the Truth.

Excited,I left the library done for the day.From a distance I noticed Justin walking towards ‘Joy street’,exactly where I was headed.I diverted and started walking towards the opposite direction.

Justin:(shouting) Vivian!!!… Please wait!!!

I stopped but did not look back.As his footsteps drew nearer,I could hear my heart beat faster. I did not know what to expect from him.He was like a time-bomb that could explode anytime!…

(Tapping my soldiers)

Justin:I am so sorry, I did overreact the other day. (Silence follows as he holds my shoulders, turns me towards him and looks me straight in the eye)

Me:(Shrugs,smiles and walks away)

I knew deep down that I forgave him,it’s just that I was not in the mood to talk about the past.I was a step closer,one step closer…

This was the most peaceful night I had in a while.The stars appeared brighter.I recall gazing at the stars for almost an hour,admiring God’s handiwork and at the same time missing my family back at home.Love-sick too because I had not seen the love of my life for quite a while. The best I could do was replay unforgettable memories in my head and stare at photos of him.

The following day,I stepped out again,back to ‘Testimonial library’ to continue from where I left off. I began by studying C.S Lewis who became an atheist after his mother died from cancer.God did not answer his prayer,or so he thought.He turned against Him…”Young lady,you dropped this,” interrupted the librarian showing my purse. “Thanks,” I responded cuttly,my mind engrossed in what I was reading.

Lewis later lost his wife to cancer again but this time he learnt a lesson so priceless… “Prayer is not about making demands to God” 

Other than atheism being a result of unclear or ‘irrational’ answers to questions,it could also be as a result of loss or pain and therefore one develops a feeling of bitterness and resentment towards God.There and then I remembered a quote from a friend who said, “When you feel God is too far away, guess who moved”

C.S Lewis then concluded, “God whispers to us in our pleasures,speaks to our conscience, but shouts in our pains:It is his megaphone to raise a dead world”

In the midst of that loss or that pain you are going through or went through in the recent past,God is speaking.He is there.He never moved an inch.It is when you take a moment to reflect,that you realise God was always there. I can attest to that:)

It was amazing just reading through God’s transforming power in Lewis’ life and so I moved on to the next one,Ravi Zacharias,who was an atheist till the age of 17 when a Christian worker brought him a Bible in hospital and instructed his mother to read John 14 and verse 19,Ravi described it as ‘the defining paradigm’ and see what he said, “This may be my only hope; A new way of living.Life as defined by the author of life” on that hospital bed,he gave his life to Christ. “No wonder the promise he made to leave no stone unturned,” I thought to myself.Ravi kept His promise to God.Today he is described as ‘the great apologist of our time’

After four hours of searching and studying,I decided to go take a stroll briefly.As I was leaving,someone suddenly blocked my way.Looking up,it was Justin!

Me:(Agitated) Are you stalking me now or what Justin?This is not funny!

Justin:Actually Viv,I am (sheepishly chuckles)

Me:Not funny!What do you want this time?(My hands on my waist)

Justin:(Sarcastically) Just came to say halo,figured you would be around here investigating us

Me:(Excited) Wait here I shall be right back.

Hoping he would wait,I ran back inside and borrowed two of C.S Lewis books, ‘Surprised by Joy’  and ‘The Problem of Pain’ and ran back outside.Relieved that he was still waiting, I stretched out my hands towards him and gave him the books.

Me:Please read them Justin,maybe God will speak to you through Lewis.(Placing his hands in mine and looking at him) I care about you Justin,please read those. Will be leaving tomorrow for home,hope you find Truth.

Justin:(Hugging me unexpectedly) Thank you Viv.

Me:(Balancing tears)You are welcome Justin.

He waves and leaves,gradually disappearing downhill.

I change my mind and decide to go back to the library.

My final read is John Wright.A philosopher who was a Sci-Fi movie writer. Can you imagine,John was married to a Christian wife,who he really esteemed?…My goodness,a Christian and an atheist married and living in the same house!… Two totally and completely different and opposite worldviews!What amazed me most is the fact that he observed his fellow atheists and described their public conduct as lacking sobriety and gravity and what puzzled me was his very arrogant yet very honest prayer,where he starts by saying, “Dear God,I know you do not exist” but at some point he asks God to reveal Himself to him to prove his case.Then he ends his prayer by saying, “Thanking you in advance for your kind cooperation in this matter,John Wright.”  I laughed hysterically.

God did reveal himself to John Wright after a heart surgery.He encountered Him and God proved His case indeed.

I knew this is it.It is not impossible for God to transform.If he can touch staunch atheists, He can touch a Muslim,a pagan,agnostic,a Buddhist or a Hindu.Through this season, I encountered a number of atheists who other than just questioning, they felt they were being pursued:

  • Marylyn Adamson who confessed that as she challenged those who believed in God,she was deeply curious to see if they would convince her otherwise and become free from the question of God.
  • Malcolm Muggeridge stated that he had a notion that somehow besides questioning he was being pursued.
  • C.S Lewis said, “…night after night,feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work,the steady unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet
  •  Paul himself,from the book of acts,a master persecutor of Christians,was struck by God on His way to Damascus.To date,He is the greatest apostle of all time.

A drop in the Ocean causes a ripple effect.That loss,that influence, that one encounter causes a ripple effect. That straight answer you give to an honest question can change a life.

It only takes a drop in the Ocean.There are so many ‘Justins‘ out there,be that one drop.Complicated?…Yes but you can do it as a Christian.I never knew there was anything in Christianity called ‘Apologetics’ until two years ago.I was always wondering why I need to apologize for being a Christian,but that is not it.It has everything to do with defending your faith my friend. Apologetics as defined by J.M Njoroge is,

A branch of Christian theology that seeks to address the intellectual obstacles that keep people from taking the Gospel of Jesus Christ seriously.

Take courses on apologetics, read books of renowned apologists.Study what Christianity is about and you will be well equipped to be that Drop in the Ocean.I then made sense of the huge post ‘You don’t know what you don’t know’. You can only know what you are exposed to right?:)

Let’s see what the Bible says in Matt 22:37,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind

The mind is involved.

That evening,I wrote everything I found down,thus this write-up.The following day,I was on my way back home fulfilled and happy I came to this beautiful land and bumped onto Lady Love.

It only takes One Drop.

Photos: Courtesy


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