It’s hard truth and ridiculous grace to be known…
The past weeks since my last post have been full of ups and downs.It has been a tough season,but the beauty of it all is something new,something inspiring was birthed out of all that!Once again,I would love to use this platform as my journal.I am always excited to share my journey with you,in the hope that I am touching someone who is going through the same.
As I mentioned earlier I work/serve in a church and changes were made so abruptly,I found myself spinning around so fast,I almost quit.Amazingly enough God wanted to speak to me so vividly,so clearly,so practically…something that will keep me going for the rest of my life!
I doubted His love for me,I thought he called me to ministry to drop me like hot iron!I felt trashed and useless and yet I knew I gave 110% in the department I was serving in then. As I kept revisiting,I realised I made a prayer way before the change was made.I told God,I don’t want to wake up every morning to go to church and ‘work’ like someone working in a bank or in the corporate world. I knew there was more to ministry than endless tasks.I felt I put God second and tasks first! I was losing ground until he grabbed me and left me spinning,trying to figure out what just happened.I joined the dots and now I see it clearly…
The icing on the cake was Psalms 103.We had to memorize the whole of it.It has been quite a while since I memorized scripture but I did!I have it flowing through my veins,pulsing through my skin,radiating from my eyes!…This truth…the truth that just broke me free from self-pity and God-doubt.
“For as high as the heavens are above the earth,so great is his love for those who fear him…” (Psalms 103:11).
I kept saying these words until I was fully convicted and convinced that I am not trash,I am not useless…I am loved by God and since He loves me he can’t hurt me…he can’t mess me up!He has my best interest at heart…Whenever doubt creeps in,I replay this verse over and over again.
I am open to seeing His plan unfold.I am open to His works unfathomable in my life and everything that concerns me.
I had a sitting with a friend going through a dark season.She shared so much…and carries so much in her heart.She kept telling me that what keeps playing in her head is the words of her ex who told her, “She has nothing to offer the relationship…she is useless.” She internalised these words to a point of being engraved in her heart!She felt useless to a point of sinking into depression.
I kept telling her and assuring her of God’s undying love for her.If she were useless,God wouldn’t have sent his son to die for her.Looking at her,she got it!She is cute,confident, charismatic and fun to be around.Those few words covered the blessings God endowed upon her just like that!She forgot all the benefits God has and had given even in the past.
You might be going through the issues I have shared above.I am a testimony of God’s undying love, His reassurance and grace. I have purposed in my heart to always bless the Lord even in tears and never to forget all his benefits!Why?His love is so great,as high as the heavens are above the earth!!!
That’s why I keep smiling even when in pain because His love overwhelms me!
I am fully known and loved by Him!…You are fully known and loved by Him.He won’t let go NO MATTER WHAT.
You don’t need to keep hiding. HE GOT HIS GRIP ON YOU.
Blessed week ahead.
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